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USA Today Projects Earth's Demise on November 18, 2008
(February 25, 2006 - nonewswire.com) USA Today is projecting that Earth will cease to exist as of November 19, 2008. Life will no longer exist and USA Today's last issue will be November 17, 2008, providing one day for staff members to spend with family before the Earth ends, according to the paper's projections...

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President Bush Changes Party Affiliation,
Becoming a Democrat!
(October 25, 2005 - nonewswire.com) In a stunning announcement, President George W Bush announced today that he is immediately changing his party affiliation from Republican to Democrat. The move was made one year before the next presidential elections. In a live televised speech, Bush made his case to the American public...

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Chain Letter - Send for Good Luck!!
(October 25, 2005 - nonewswire.com) Let's face it - we all need good luck. Therefore do everything exactly as outlined below and you'll have the best of luck anyone could imagine!

1) Forward this message to everyone you know - everyone. If you miss just one person then you'll wet the bed tonight...

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Michael Moore Wins Stupid Person of the Year
(March 25, 2003 - nonewswire.com) Outspoken political documentary pundit Michael Moore has been named “Stupid Person of the Year” by Time magazine. Moore seemed ecstatic at receiving the award, believing that the title was really an honorary one...

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Raiders Busted For Using Viagra
(November 18, 2002 - nonewswire.com) The Oakland Raiders were busted yesterday by the NFL for distributing a banned supplement to players. NoNewswire.com has since learned that the banned supplement being given to players was Viagra...

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Disney Puts Rally Monkey Up For Sale -- Bengals Express Interest
(November 9, 2002 - nonewswire.com) Trying to capitalize on the success of the Disney-owned California Angels, Disney announced last week that it is selling the California Angels "Rally Monkey" to the highest-bidding sports team...

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NFL Fines Michael Vick $50,000 for Using Breath Asure
(November 8, 2002 - nonewswire.com) The NFL has fined Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick $50,000 for using Breath Asure instead of the league approved Tic Tacs...

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NFL Considers Major Restructuring Due to "Rough Tackles"
(November 1, 2002 - nonewswire.com) The NFL is considering major restructuring of rules regarding tackling after seeing an increase of hard hits throughout the league. The move comes after the NFL director of football operations, Gene Washington, prepared a 75 page report on increased injuries from older receivers.

"We tried a hard line stance of suspensions," says Washington, "but that doesn't seem to be working. Therefore I have recommended to the NFL that it removes tackling from the game in favor of a less intense program that revolves around 'flag football'."

According to league sources, the NFL is considering outfitting players with flags that go around the waist of each offensive player...

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Raiders Request Second Bye Week
(October 30, 2002 - nonewswire.com) The Oakland Raiders today petitioned the NFL with a request for a second bye week.

Commenting on the petition, Raiders wide receiver Jerry Rice said, "A lot of us players are older and we need to rest more than other teams; therefore we are simply asking to have another week of rest..."

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Disney Unveils New Mascott!
(from the digitalmediafx.com archives) Disney today unveiled a new animated character that will replace Mickey Mouse as its official mascot. The unveiling of the character is said to coincide with the firing of 50,000 more employees..."

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