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Disney
Unveils New Mascot - Eisney!
(April 1, 2001 - digitalmediafx.com)
Disney today unveiled a new animated character that will replace
Mickey Mouse as its official mascot. The unveiling of the
character is said to coincide with the firing of 50,000 more
employees.
And the
mascot is... Eisney!
"Eisney!
is actually suppose to be a human cartoon character,"
says lead animator Glen Keane. "However shortly after
we started working on its face, 95% of our department got
fired so we had to release it prematurely. But luckily the
big cheese likes it, so its a go."
Disney
executives point out that Eisney! is suppose to have an exclamation
point at the end.
"It
gives it emphasis, like Yahoo!" said Michael Eisner,
the CEO of Disney. "Mickey Mouse was popular, but cost
us too much money to draw. Eisney! is much cheaper to draw
and is expected to increase our yearly revenues by at least
$97. In addition, Eisney! rolls, so we can do a lot of fun
things with him like make him knock down bowling pens and
stuff. No one cares about image quality these days. It's all
about story, story, profits. Our model is South Park."
Eisner
states that the debut of Eisney! will take place in a new
movie called Mickey Meeses New Groove.
"Don't
you love that name?" asks Eisner. "Mickey Meeses
New Groove. It just sounds so hip and up with the times,
ya know? So anyhow, in Mickey Meeses New Groove, Mickey
Mouse trips and hits the ground, causing his nose to fall
off. That's how Eisney! is born!"
Eisner
says that he may help out at the animation division once in
awhile since he is short on staff at the moment. He says he
also helps motivate the animators.
"Roll,
Eisney!, Roll!" he laughs.
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