|
Raiders
Busted For Using Viagra
(November 18, 2002 - nonewswire.com)
The Oakland Raiders were busted yesterday by the NFL for distributing
a banned supplement to players. NoNewswire.com has since learned
that the banned supplement being given to players was Viagra.
NFL spokesman
Greg Aiello refused to confirm the report, but did state to
NoNewswire.com that "it was one of your articles that
probably gave the Raiders the idea and if we could fine NoNewswire.com,
we would."
The article
that Aiello was referring to was this
one in which a Chargers player wanting to remain anonymous
suggested that some offenses might want to "take two
Viagra before each game" to "numb the pain and give
them more energy to take legal hits".
The NFL
has filed a lawsuit against NoNewswire.com to get the name
of the Chargers player, who was suspended for one game two
weeks ago because of his hard-hitting tactics.
"Clearly
this player on the San Diego Chargers gave this idea to the
Raiders and therefore must be suspended several games,"
says the letter from Raiders lawyer Edward "Blackbeard"
Teach. "We will not tolerate illegal substances or even
the suggestion of such substances for NFL teams. Yes, the
Raiders may need Viagra due to their age, but that is not
the issue here."
Since
first taking Viagra on November 11, the Raiders have been
on a two game winning streak, breaking a four game losing
streak. The NFL has warned the Bengals not to get any ideas.
###
>
Click to return to
the NoNewswire.com Front Page
Note: The
above article is satire. Feel free to link directly to this
article by using the following link:
http://www.nonewswire.com/Archives/November2002/raidersviagra.html
|
